vivica -- so empty and so beautiful

cookie!!!
||1:24 pm||05/31/2004||
yesterday was cool, i chilled at my grand parents house with chad n brandon and my sister and like a bunch of my family, i thought it was cool, my mom played cornhole with him, it was kinda funny watching him play but yeah i played with her too and uh. well lost. but yeah its more fun to play when your drunk but it was a sober game yesterday. but yeah that and oh god he was being so mean, he kept like pinning me and i was playing aropund picking up baby frogs, and putting them in my grandpas bird bath thingy yeah it was fun except this cicadas kept flyingb on me and i was like screaming my head off like ahhh bugs!!! but yeah it was cool though i had chad carrying me on his back and stuff it was funny, i was like faster donkey!! hehe but yeah i cant wait til i get our film developed from the other day when me was taking pictures hopefully they come out ok but yeah especially the ones with me and the pimp hat on, its so funny looking maybe if they come out ok ill scan them and put them on here. if chad dont care ya kno. but yeah hopefully my mom n dad dont mind going down on the hill to go get them today so we can go chill n smoke in the park but yeah hes so cute!!! i just hope he dont bite me again!!!

∞ I ♥ Chad ∞here comes the rain again
||2:09 pm||05/29/2004||
wow school is like out finnaly!!! i went to kings island on thursday with my classmates and my teacher jenny, and her friend shannon, i had alot of fun, i went on all the rides in the amin park, i stayed away from the water park cuz i didnt wanna get all wet. you know? but yeah the drop zone, delierium, and the sun of beast was totally sick!! i loved it, so did jen and the rest of the guys, oh god it was awesome, i got this big blue fuzzy pimp hat, and i bought a trucker hat and got chad and shelly airbrushed on it, jen was like what if u n chad break up?? ( lol i guess chad can keep the hat if we do) but yeah i love my pimp hat, i wore it to my grandmas and was like ima pimmmmp!!! lol i had so much fun playing with him except we got into a few argements, i got a few bruises form him pinching me really hard, and hes got a few bite marks, yeah it sucks. ut yeah he just makes me so mad sometimes, he wanted to act all big n bad and hes well.. not. but yeah i thought about how childish little kids are, they think that what they think is everything and that the whole world revolves around them and what they think is right, well im sorry to break it to you.. YOUR TOTALLY FUCKING WRONG. why dont u just grow the fuck up and learn something actualyworth while like learning how to LET THE FUCK GO. its over.. get over it.. why the yhell would you stretch it out and let it hang over your head.. come on!!! its not the end of the world. i guss people will never change.. but you know what they say.. when it rains.. it really pours.

∞ I ♥ Chad ∞last night
||2:47 pm||05/22/2004||
dude yesterday was fun, except i was tripping so bad cuz i thought i lost my cell phone at the crossing last night, anyways i got to see chad yesterday, we went and picked him up from his friends house, and we went up to the movie theatre so i could get some change and give my sis some cash, after that me n chad took off, i made him go in ameristop and get me some smokes. then we walked over to target and i was looking at some cute baby stuff for a gift for tee i still need to get her a gift for her baby shower, its in july but i still wanna buy her something cute, and stuff you know? they had thease thinsg like baby photo albums and stuff that were really cute but she is doing her babys room in all mickey mouse.. and this stuff had pooh on it,, that wouldnt match at all ya know?? but yeah and i went to go look at shorts, and shirts and stuff they had thease little cute preppy shirts but its stuff chad likes but i'd never wear it.. ya know? and heyhad some cute thongs that had hello kitty on them, i wanted to buy them but didnt know what size i would need, ya know? but yeah i ended up buying gel pens and some gum, (cant have funky nasty breath when ur with ur dude lol) but yeah i wrote my name on chad hand with one of the glitter pens i bought, it was really cute except i kept writing all sloppy!!! >_< grrr i hate it when i do that... but yeah the night totally got better when we was on our way back we kissed alot heehe :)

∞ I ♥ Chad ∞all down hill from here
||1:03 pm||05/20/2004||
man lately its been crazy around here, me n chad keep getting into arguements and stupid shit keeps happening, hes been so damn hot headed lately, and he keeps making lame excuses about why hes beeen acting shady as hell lately. lets see one minute hes all sweet and loving, and the next hes all "ahhh shut the fuck up" but who knows what crawled up his ass and died. i dont know whats gonna happen with us, i just wish he would calm down and think sometimes, its beeen making me wonder if me n him are gonna make it. hes been talking about getting married and having kids today, i realy dont see that happening in the near future, cuz i really dont wanna get into that and have him decide he dont wanna be with me or something you know? but yeah this really sucks, i mean hes been really nice when he has his nice moments but really mean when hes mad. i guess hes having problems again who knows, last night we was calling eachother names and stuff. but i guessi provoke hi to do that sometimes you know?

∞ I ♥ Chad ∞

its better to burn out than to fade away

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